Vegetarian Enchiladas

I grew up in a small town in Southeastern Kentucky. When I was a kid, I remember when we got two new restaurants– McDonald’s and Pizza Hut. They were right next door to each other, and for awhile, pretty much the only game in town.

I was about 8 the first time I tried an enchilada. We were on vacation in Myrtle Beach and one of my parents ordered them at a restaurant. I don’t think it was even a “real” Mexican restaurant but one of those vacation places that has some of everything… So I was probably plowing through a disappointing cheeseburger when I took a break for a bite of

the most magical, life-altering food in the universe. Where had these been all of my life?? 

And then, I don’t think I ever had one again– or Mexican food of any kind really, other than the tacos we made at home with the Ortega box– until I was a senior in high school. My little home town had expanded significantly in the culinary department over the past decade, and in addition to 2 of every fast food chain known to humankind, we now had– a brand. New. Mexican restaurant.

So the summer before college, I got a job waiting tables there–mostly because I had a friend who was working there. And over that summer, I proceeded to develop a deep and abiding love of Mexican food that I harbor to this day. I never get sick of it. I love most all of it.

But especially– enchiladas.

The beauty of an enchilada is that it’s flexible and does not require meat. I love a good mess of a ground beef enchilada, any day, but it’s really easy to lighten them up. Which is helpful when you eat them as often as I do. (And when you have a #weirdvegetariankid in the house).

If you love my Clean Out The Fridge Pasta concept, you will love my enchilada philosophy, which is much the same. This version centers on black beans and spinach, but the possibilities are endless.

Start by draining and rinsing a can of black beans, and preheat your oven to 350. 

Then, make 1 cup of Minute Rice according to package directions. When it’s done, add the beans; half a block of cream cheese; and 1 to 2 cups of chopped fresh spinach (my kids will actually eat spinach, but if you need to sneak it in on your fam, use less). Season this mixture with garlic powder; onion powder; and chili powder. (When we lived in Phoenix, I used to always keep chipotle chili powder in the house, and it is AMAZING in these; I never think to buy it here in Kentucky though… until I’m home making enchiladas and think damn, I wish I had some chipotle powder. Learn from my mistakes!)

Alright, the rest is pretty self-explanatory but: use this mixture to fill soft flour tortillas; place in a greased baking dish; top with taco sauce (hello, Ortega, we still love you!); and cover with shredded Monterey Jack. Garnish with chopped green onions, and bake for about 20 minutes until the cheese is melted and starting to brown.

This is where the ‘clean out the fridge’ part comes in, because you can use any variety of substitutions or additions here:

Substitute:

-pinto beans, Navy beans, or kidney beans for the black beans

-corn tortillas for the flour

-salsa for taco sauce

-any kind of shredded cheese you need to use up instead of M-jack

Additions: 

-corn

-roasted peppers

-cilantro

-avacado

-sour cream (I forgot the sour cream at the store this week! so sad!)

-most any kind of meat you have on-hand: ground beef or turkey, grilled chicken, shredded pork, BACON. Throw it in there.

The enchilada don’t care.

Enjoy with boxed red wine of your choice, and don’t feel too badly about the cheese calories; because you ate all those vegetables, and life is all about balance.

Here’s to summers serving up chile rellenos to Kentuckians who couldn’t pronounce it worth a shit, but knew a good thing when it came to town Here’s to going home smelling like fajitas every night… and never getting tired of whatever the kitchen guys threw in a to-go box for you to take home for a midnight snack.

That was a good summer.

 

 

 

How To Have Your Bacon Tomato Pasta (and Live With a Vegetarian Too)

When I got married, I got a lot of gifts.

I mean– a LOTTA gifts. I had my own friends and family. My husband’s friends and huge-ass Catholic family. And then, not one, but THREE groups of church ladies showering me: my own home church; my in-law’s Catholic church; and the church I was serving as an intern my last year of seminary.

Do the math. That’s a whole bunch of church ladies. And church ladies know how to show up with the presents. It’s a love language.

Some of those gifts are things that I use every day; some are fixtures in my house; some are things that either got “loved to death,” or didn’t make one of the 10 or so moves we’ve made in our 16 years of marriage. But one thing that has never failed me yet? “How To Cook Everything,” Mark Bittman’s staple cookbook.

My favorite dinner during tomato season (after, of course, the perfect BLT,) is his pasta with bacon, tomato and carmelized onion. But now I’m flipping through the cookbook, and for the life of me, I can’t find the recipe! I know this is where I got it, because I make it at least a couple of times every summer.

But you don’t really need a recipe. Here’s what you do:
Carmelize some onions in olive oil, which, let’s be honest, is kind of a bitch. You have to cut them evenly (who has time for that??), and cook them over low heat, stirring frequently, for… a long dang time. Like almost an hour.

Yeah, it’s a pain, but for this– I promise, it’s worth it. And that’s the only labor intensive thing you have to do. While that’s going on low, you can cook some bacon, and dice some tomatoes. 

When the bacon is done, drain and set it aside so you can free up a burner. Boil some water (don’t strain yourself!) and cook a box of spaghetti or linguini according to package. While the pasta is cooking– you can do the math here, right?– add the diced tomatoes and crumble the bacon into the skillet with the onions. Cook over low heat for about 10-15 more minutes. It cooks into something resembling a bacon-tomato jam situation, and if there is anything more perfect than that, I don’t need to know about it.

Serve that mess over the pasta with an obscene amount of parmesean cheese; you might want some fresh ground black pepper to seal the deal; or maybe even some crushed red pepper for some heat? Either way, I promise you– your summer dinner rotation will never be the same. This is just… a level of food perfection I can’t even describe. And I know some words.

Here’s the catch though– nobody else in my family will eat this. 

On the whole, I don’t live in a house full of picky eaters. But I have one #weirdvegetariankid (even though she will cave and try a bite of bacon every now and then because, and I quote, “it just smells amazing!!”); another kid who doesn’t like onions; and a husband who, Lord help me y’all, does not like tomatoes. I know. We all have our stuff. It’s a good thing he’s hot, is all I’m saying.

Do I let this unfortunate confluence of weirdness deprive me of my favorite pasta? Never!

Enter: the pasta bar situation.

I make all the stuff I mentioned above. I set aside some of the bacon, and some diced tomato. I cook a pan of roasted broccoli. I buy a jar of store-brand alfredo sauce, ($1.69 at Kroger, you’re welcome); and I let everybody assemble their own pasta perfection while I enjoy the fruits of summer labor– which, in this case, is a great tomato (with bacon and carmelized onions).

Bonus: if you have leftover bacon, broccoli, and/or tomato, you’ve got lunch taken care of tomorrow with: a great salad; a killer omelet; or the perfect pasta salad.

And that’s the beauty of the flexitarian lifestyle– it may seem like extra work sometimes to give people options. But ultimately, the food gets eaten; there are lots of veggies to go around; and a little extra prep and labor today amounts to a breakfast or lunch options tomorrow, so it all balances in the grand scheme of things.

And if not, I got to sip a little extra bourbon while cooking in my Dolly Parton apron, and there’s my Sunday night in a nutshell.

I didn’t have any leftovers of the bacon/tomato/onion situation because, when nobody else will eat it, I really just have to take one for the dang team. Tomorrow’s heartburn will be worth it.

Summer Strawberry Pie

One of these days, I’m going to dedicate an entire post to the best foods of summer. We’ll talk about cherries, and pimiento cheese, the the perfect BLT– for which I have spent my whole life searching!

But for today, we’re going to dwell on just one summer delight that is worthy of its own post– strawberry pie.

Not just any strawberry pie– my Mamaw’s strawberry pie!

Why is her’s better than any other version you find on the internet? A couple of reasons– for one, it involves cream cheese. As I’ve said before, there are few things in life that cannot be improved upon by cream cheese. For another reason– she does not mess with strawberry Jello. Jello just ruins the integrity of the strawberry. AND the pie. If you like Jello, fine, but get it away from my pie.

And of course, it’s better because my Mamaw’s anything is better than pretty much everything.

I could not find her actual recipe– and did not want to bug her for it again, because she has sent it to me at least 3 times in my adult life (clearly, I get the same craving every June; it was especially intense when I was pregnant!) so I’m going off of 1) memory, and 2) my own modifications. But I promise you, this is better than any version of strawberry pie, or strawberry no-bake cheesecake, or strawberry Jello-mess that you will find on Pinterest.

First, blend together a block of cream cheese, 2 eggs, 3/4 c. sugar, and a splash of vanilla extract. The heavy lifting is done now. Seriously, that is the most work you will have to do for this pie.

Dump the cream cheese mixture into a pre-made pie crust (I use the store brand or Pillsbury frozen kind, mostly thawed out); and bake at 350 for 35-40 minutes, or until the center firms up.

While that is baking, wash and cut up about 2 cups of strawberries (or enough to cover the pie). Mamaw just trims the stems and then puts the whole berries on top. It makes for a much prettier pie her way, but I like to half or quarter the berries because it’s just easier to eat that way.

When the pie is finished baking, dump the berries on top. Then, on the stovetop mix together about 1 c. of water, 1/2 c. of sugar, and 2 tbs of cornstarch to make a glaze. Cook over medium heat, stirring constantly with a whisk until it is the desired consistency. (You may want to add more water, or more cornstarch until you get it right; you want it to be thick enough to slowly drip off of a spoon– but not a glue-like substance!)

Mamaw adds a few drops of red food coloring– but when you have children, keeping food coloring in the house is an invitation for disaster, so I don’t touch the stuff. You really don’t need it– especially if you plan to top your slice with whipped cream anyway, which of course you will.

Roasted Veggie Mac & Cheese

Living in Phoenix for 7 years, I learned some critical summer survival skills. These skills translate to ANY locale that experiences actual summer– even if it’s not the level of melt-your-face summer that Phoenix achieves for like 5 months of the year.

These tips include things like: don’t touch the steering wheel (or seat belt) until you’ve had the a/c going for a few; plan your errands for the earliest morning hours; learn to make great iced coffee; and, for the love of all things, you DO NOT COOK. This is rule #1. At the height of Arizona scorch season, you never turn on the oven. Or even the stovetop. Live on salads, sandwiches, cereal, or–my personal favorite– a buffet of dips, spreads, fruits, veggies and cheese that you can just set out around 7pm every day and go to town.

It is now May 28 in Kentucky, and I am remembering why we do not cook in summer. (Is this a hormone thing? I’m 42, seriously, that seems a bit young. I probably don’t want to know the answer).

In any case– this dinner is the ultimate “clean out the fridge pasta,” because you can use the dregs of all the veggies, all the cheese, and, get this– all the heels of bread that nobody wanted. Just… you probably don’t want to make this until September. December, if you live in Phoenix.

But I’ll go ahead and tell you how, just in case.

You need:

-assorted veggies (i used baby bell peppers, mushrooms, and kale)

-minced garlic

-olive oil

-a box of elbow macaroni (or any pasta)

-milk

-butter

-2 slices of stale bread (or toast)

-cream cheese

-shredded cheddar (or whatever)

-seasoning of choice

First thing– and with most things I make, the only labor-involved thing– chop your veggies. Toss in olive oil and garlic and put on a baking sheet, and put in the oven at 350. (If you are using kale or any leafy green– leave it out for now).

Then cook your pasta.

After about 15 minutes, toss your kale (or other greens) in with the other stuff in the oven. Stir so it’s coated in oil, and then cook another 10 minutes or so.

While all that’s going on, take your stale bread (or toast) and make bread crumbs. Toss in a bowl with 3 tbs melted butter, and some garlic powder. You will thank me for this part later.

At this point you should have 1) cooked pasta; 2) a bowl of buttery garlic bread crumbs; and 3) roasted veggies. Roasting the veggies is important. This is how you make your kids love veggies and not hate them. It brings out the flavor and makes things taste less like dirt and more like actual food. My kids totally inhaled this dinner, and it has kale. 

While your pasta is draining quietly in the colander, turn your burner on medium, and add some milk and a block of cream cheese. Most mac and cheese recipes, at this point, would tell you to “make a roux,” and then make a cheese sauce, etc. Listen to me– the devil’s a liar, and you don’t have to work that hard when the Lord gave you cream cheese.

Once the cream cheese has softened (like a minute?) stir in the pasta and a bunch of shredded cheddar (or whateva). The pasta is still hot, so it will melt the cheese the rest of the way. Then, stir in those roasted veggies.

Dump the whole mess into a greased casserole dish. Top with the buttered bread crumbs and some parmesan– the cheap stuff, right out of the can, just go for it– and bake at 350 (your oven is still hot, remember??) for like 10 or 15 minutes. Then dinner is done.

Honestly, I got over being too hot and I ate just fine. But I really am kinda done cooking for the summer. Stay tuned for all things grilled, chilled, or just thrown together. In the meantime, the veggie mac and cheese was pretty much worth the hot flash. Would be good with white boxed wine, but for tonight, I went with bourbon. Because if you’re already hot, why not?

 

Frito Pie Goes Flexitarian

In the interest of finding quarantine family televiewing that is both funny and kid-appropriate, we have recently introduced The Children to King of the Hill. Let me tell you something– it is still hilarious.

Ok, and *mostly* kid-appropriate. What it lacks in G-rated quantity, it makes up in all other quality. It is smart. It is surprisingly compassionate. And it is nuanced.

I dearly love a nuance.

So when Peggy Hill served her guests Frito pie, and my kids in unison were like “what’s Frito pie?” I was like “I know what we’re having for dinner this weekend!”

Full disclosure, I don’t think I’ve ever made Frito pie before, but it is basically nacho casserole. I’m always up for an excuse for nachos, and I’m always in for a good church lady casserole. Especially one that is easily adaptable for a flexitarian household.

Casseroles are the ultimate comfort food–especially as we are living through the end-times and all that. As the 4 horsemen of the pandemapocalypse approach, I shall be baking something in a 9×9 square dish, topped with cheese, at 350-degrees for 30 minutes or until golden brown!

Thing is, that 9×9 square dish often contains meat. With a vegetarian in the house, I’ve adjusted a lot of my cooking around the miracle that is the mini loaf pan. This tiny dish will transform all of your meat-centric casseroles for a flexitarian option, single-serving situation. It’s especially easy for something like Frito pie, which is layered in and can easily omit the meat. (Most recipes don’t call for the corn, but I added it to make it a little more substantial for the meatless portion).

Here’s what you need:

–Fritos

-can of Ranch Style beans (or chili beans), with sauce 

–onion, or green onion

–ground beef or ground turkey

–shredded cheddar, Monterey jack, or BOTH

–corn (canned or frozen) 

–taco sauce

–sour cream

When we lived in Arizona, ranch beans were a staple. I’d keep a few cans in the pantry, and on days when it was too hot to cook–which, in Phoenix, is pretty much all the days– you just make some instant rice, open a can of ranch beans and maybe add some cheese and sour cream, and dinner is managed. It had been awhile since I’d bought the real thing, but if you can get them, do it. If you live in some god-forsaken Yankee state where this delicacy is not available, just get you some canned chili beans in sauce.

Then here’s what you do: Preheat oven to 350 (the sacred casserole setting). Sautee some onions in a splash of oil for a couple of minutes. Then brown the meat.

While the meat is cooking, spray both the mini loaf pan and the larger casserole dish with cooking spray. Line the bottom of each with a layer of Fritos. (You will use most of a bag, but save some reserves for topping later). On the vegetarian portion (however big it needs to be, I don’t know your life) layer a few spoonfuls of ranch beans with sauce; then corn; a drizzle of taco sauce; and top with shredded cheese.

Then, once the meat has finished cooking, mix in the rest of the can of beans (don’t drain! use the sauce!). Add some corn (I only used half a can, and that, you DO want to drain first); then add some taco sauce, and cover the whole mess with cheese.

You know the casserole drill: bake for 20 to 30 minutes until the cheese is bubbly, (the small portion will need less time), then top with some of the leftover Fritos, and serve with sour cream on the side. (And/or cilantro; green onion; hot sauce; avacado; whatever makes this casserole perfection for you, go for it).

My son was deeply disappointed when he learned that Frito pie was not, in fact, a dessert. But he ate it anyway. And then he had seconds.

Well, everybody did. And does it go with boxed wine? It does, I tell you what. [she said in her best Hank Hill voice.]

Risotto with Bacon and Roasted Broccoli

Risotto was one of the first things I learned to cook that 1) was nothing my mom or my Mamaw had ever made for me, 2) did not involve just dumping stuff in the crockpot, and 3) felt like something ‘fancy’ that I could make for company. It is pretty much the perfect carb, and the canvas for any number of meal options. It is a great side with pork tenderloin or anything off the grill, but can stand alone as an entree.

If you’re in the mood for a prep-5-minutes then walk away kind of dinner, then this is not for you. But if you don’t mind standing at the stove for about 30 minutes while sipping your box-o-wine, then hang with me. This is easy, even if it does need some hands-on time. Trust me, I’m lazy AF. If I can make this, you can.

Cook your bacon first; and start the broccoli in the oven (toss with olive oil and minced garlic, and cook at 350 for 20-25 minutes)

Then, as with most good things (outside of dessert) start by chopping some onion, and browning it slightly in olive oil over medium heat for a few minutes. Once it has started to soften, throw in some minced garlic and let all that simmer for a minute or two.

Now–here is the fun part– put about 1 1/2 to 2 cups of arborio rice in the pan and let it brown for about a minute. Yes, just dry. Toss it around so it doesn’t stick and burn, but you are getting it toasty, which brings out kind of a rich, nutty flavor.

At some point your stove will look like this hot mess, and that’s how you know it’s about to get real.

Next–listen to me, this is important– use actual Arborio rice. I see so many recipes, or worse yet, restaurant menu items, that call themselves risotto because of the cooking method, but they have just used like, Uncle Ben’s long-grain whatever. Anybody who calls that business “risotto” is a liar, and you know I do not abide liars around here. Arborio. For real. It’s a worthwhile splurge if you’re going to the trouble of making this.

Brand and packaging of your choice– but seriously, it HAS TO say “arborio.”

Meanwhile, heat some chicken or veggie broth in a separate pan. Once you’ve browned the rice for a bit, pour in a generous splash of white wine, (whatever is in the pantry that you need to use up) and then scoop some of the warm broth into the pan. (The sound when that wine and broth hit the hot pan is so fun!)

And then– this is the part that is slightly labor-intensive. For the next 20 to 30 minutes, you are married to this pan with the risotto in it. Stir frequently. Let the rice and broth simmer over medium heat. When all the broth is absorbed, scoop in some more. And repeat a few times until it is the consistency you want. Some folks say the rice should have a bit of ‘bite’ to it, so a little crunch in the middle, but I like it almost cooked through. Just taste it until you like it, is all I can tell you.

At the last minute, toss in a tablespoon or two of butter. The real thing. Stir that in, and then– your dinner canvas is ready! I scoop out a portion for #myweirdvegetariankid, then throw in the bacon (or chicken, or sausage, or… ) and then serve with the roasted broccoli (which you definitely did not burn while nursing the risotto).

This is one of those meals that is great for cleaning out the fridge because the variations are endless. Kale or Brussels sprouts work just as well as broccoli. You can add mushrooms; or not. You can add some tomatoes, or spinach, or whatever you just brought in from the garden or farmer’s market. You can use leftover ham from Easter, or turkey from Thanksgiving. In other words, this is the adoring, flexible, laid-back boyfriend of carbohydrates, so enjoy as you will.

The important thing is to top with copious amounts of shredded fresh parmesan (the good stuff, please!) Boxed wine? The beauty of this one is, you can go red OR white. Adoring boyfriend says don’t worry about the carbs (or the butter. or the bacon) because you are “beautiful just the way you are!”

Cheap rice might lie to you–but adoring boyfriends never will.

Top generously with black pepper–or crushed red pepper flakes for some heat.

Easy Greek Pitas

Tonight I took one of my favorite easy go-to dinners… and made it way too dang complicated. Don’t do that.

This saga starts with chicken– and if you want to skip the saga and get to the food, I totally get that, so just scan down to the first picture. But if you’re here for the stories, I will tell you that I am ambivalent about grocery store rotisserie chicken. They’re okay in a pinch, but even the meat-eaters in my house don’t like dark meat, so I end up having to get super creative to use it all. And any recipe I’ve ever seen for “easy oven roasted chicken” is a damn lie, because I am a decent cook and I have never once gotten a whole chicken to turn out well.

I had all but given up the quest to cook a whole chicken, when I found a recipe for the Instant Pot. Friends, if you don’t have an Instant Pot, we will discuss this another time, because it is worthy of its own post. Let’s just say I decided to give it a go with the whole chicken.

First of all, I was in early phases of prepping this thing when I remembered– nothing will make you less hungry for chicken than prepping a whole chicken. You have to pull stuff out of it that I promise you don’t even want to think about. Unless it is Thanksgiving and there is a turkey at the end of this rainbow, the guts are never worth it. Full stop. I know, I’m a good Kentucky girl with farm roots and I should be fine with any phase of a creature’s life cycle if I’m going to eat it… but if turning in my country cred means I never have to touch chicken innards again, I’m fine with that. [And yes, while I’m digging in a chicken cavity I did have the thought this is why my sweet daughter has been a vegetarian since preschool…. she is clearly smarter than me]. 

But I’m powering through with this bird and then– it says to turn on the sautee feature and brown the chicken IN the Instant Pot for a few minutes before cooking. More lies! There is no room to brown a bird in the Instant Pot and furthermore flip it over like a pancake… this very notion defies the laws of physics.

Bottom line, unlike some evil kitchen sources, I will never lie to you. The chicken was fine, but this dinner is a-okay with just about any kind of pre-cooked chicken you have, and it’s not worth your life to cook a whole chicken on a Sunday evening in quarantine. Buy the pre-cooked one, or use some leftover grilled chicken, or whatever. Then eat dinner and live your life.

So here we are, arrived to the simple version of this menu, as it should be. The only thing you really have to make is a quick tzatziki sauce. Everything else you are just going to cut up and/or set out buffet style. For the tzatziki you need:

-low fat sour cream or plain yogurt (or full fat sour cream, I don’t judge)

-a few slices of cucumber, peeled and chopped

-dill 

-Greek seasoning

-a squeeze of lemon, if you have it on-hand. optional. 

I told y’all, I put Greek seasoning on everything, because I have a weirdly obsessive love of Greek food. This easy sauce really makes it feel like you are having some semblance of actual Greek food for dinner– even if you started with store bought chicken and pita bread.

Store bought pita bread or flatbread is our next stop here– set some out, along with the sauce, and:

-cooked chicken, sliced or shredded, whatever

-spinach (or other salad greens)

-sliced cucumbers

-feta cheese

-sliced tomatoes if they are in season, but don’t even @me with the nonsense that passes for a tomato in April. And

-Hummus (you could also sub in roasted chickpeas if you prefer)

And this is where your vegetarian version comes in, because for those passing on the chicken– which tonight, honestly, might also be me– the hummus is your protein, and you just add the veggies, the sauce and the feta for a healthy dinner that has every food group, and uses a lot of what you probably already have around the house.

That’s it. Set all that out and let everybody fix their own wrap. There will probably be enough leftovers for lunch tomorrow. Which is good, because that damn chicken had better be worth it.

Side note- on a messy scale of 1 to 10, with 10 being tacos or barbecue ribs, this is like a 9. So if you are fixing dinner for a new-ish romantic interest in your life, maybe skip it. Also, cucumbers are one of like 3 foods that don’t go with boxed wine; so maybe just have a shot of bourbon while you’re cooking; and another when you’re done.

 

Clean Out the Fridge Pasta: Kale and Sundried Tomato Edition

Now that we are all home and cooking more, a friend recently suggested that I resurrect this blog.

It is still Easter, I guess.

I do have another blog, more related to my day job, and it is hard enough to keep up in addition to said day job… But even that outlet starts to feel like work at some point. And hey, we’ve all gotta eat. So I think the idea to kickstart this space again was a good one. Even Alton Brown has ramped up an impromptu Youtube show called “Quarantine Kitchen.” Well–this is not that, and most of my cooking remains half-assed, which is why you want to follow me after all. I am an easy to follow low-pro. (And, fun fact, if you watch that Alton Brown video to about minute 4, you will hear him talk about my brother, who wrote the theme song for the show!) In any case, I think it just goes to show that lots of us are spending more time in the kitchen these days.

And also–trying to make do with less.

Whether it’s for economic necessity or because you want to go to the store less often during a pandemic situation, there’s something to be said for throwing-shit-together-with whatever-you’ve-got-on-hand. In that regard I give you my very favorite meal: Clean Out the Fridge Pasta.

The best thing about this meal is, it is rarely the same twice. It literally uses what you have and need to use up; it can be improvised beautifully; and it often includes all the food groups. Every now and then, I come up with a variation that I like enough to make again on purpose–and this was one of those.

Which is funny, because half of the things I intended to put in this one– like a half jar of artichokes and a half-jar of roasted red peppers– ended up getting tossed, thus leading me to further improvisation. When I opened those jars, let’s just say they had seen better days, and while I’m all for using what you’ve got, don’t be a hero. Nobody wants to end up in the ER with food poisoning during a pandemic. Safety first!

So here’s where we landed instead, ingredients-wise.

-kale

-jar of marinara sauce

-a few sundried tomatoes, chopped

-1/2 block of cream cheese

-garlic

-parmesean (or other cheese)

That sounds simple, but the best things are.

What you do is, sautee the kale in olive oil for a few minutes over medium heat (after removing the stems). Throw in the garlic after a couple minutes, but turn the heat down so it doesn’t burn. Then dump in the sauce (a jar; 3/4 of a jar; half a jar… how much do you have? how much will you eat? you’re using stuff up here). Then throw in the cream cheese and let that melt. [I’ve said it before and I’ve said it again-there are few foods on the planet that cannot be improved upon by cream cheese, come at me]. Toss in the sundried tomatoes last minute, which I like to chop up finely. And listen, a little of these suckers goes a long way, so go easy. You can always add more if you like.

I tend to add a few shakes of Greek seasoning, mostly because I put it on everything. But that’s optional.

Serve this delicious (and reasonably healthy) mess on whatever pasta (or even rice!) you like, and throw on more shredded cheese than the good Lord intended for anyone to eat in one sitting; because it’s quarantine, and we’ve gotta find our joy somewhere. Drink with some wine out of a box, because the same.

If you wanted to throw in some bacon for the carnivores in the house– that wouldn’t be the worst thing. But the vegetarian version is just about perfect as is.

 

BBQ Tater Tots

Last summer, when I was visiting family in Kentucky, I went on a quick retreat with some old friends. We stayed in a cabin at Cumberland Falls, and for dinner, we drove to Corbin, KY and ate at a place called The Wrigley Taproom and Eatery.

Now, I grew up in that corner of the world (10 miles away in London, KY). That Corbin has anything resembling a “taproom” is beyond me. This was a dry county for my whole childhood, and remained that way until recently. Once I get passed the alcohol factor, I still remained skeptical that this town could produce a good restaurant featuring fresh, local ingredients and involving green vegetables.

I was wrong. This place was amazing.

It was one of those ‘can’t decide what to order because everything looks fantastic’ moments. In the end, we went with “give us one of everything on the appetizer menu,” because that is never the wrong answer.

It was a lovely evening, all around.

And maybe it was because I got a little queasy/carsick on the rid there, and something greasy always helps settle an uneasy stomach (no? just me?); or maybe it was because I was with good friends; but this one thing on the menu hit the spot for me: BBQ tater tots.

I am not, strictly speaking, a tater tot fan. But these were to die for.

And maybe it’s because I’m missing my friends right now; or maybe it’s because I gave up meat for Lent and “BBQ” anything sounds amazing; or maybe it’s because it’s March Madness and this is a great snack-dinner for watching sports; but I found myself craving these, 8+ months after that initial holy experience.

So tonight, on this Thursday evening of Spring Break, I whipped some up for dinner. I think I did a pretty good job of recreating the restaurant situation, but I added the black beans to make it less of a snack, and more of a meal. You’ll need:

1 bag frozen tater tots

chopped green onion

1 can black beans, drained and rinsed

1 cup shredded cheddar or colby-jack cheese 

bottled barbecue sauce of your choice (we like Sweet Baby Ray’s original) 

sour cream for serving (also my touch) 

Spread frozen tots on a greased cookie sheet. Bake at 425 for about 10 minutes. Remove from oven; scatter beans and onions, drizzle with sauce (to taste) and top with cheese. Bake an additional 10 or 15 minutes, until cheese is melted and tater tots are golden brown. Garnish with sour cream.

#Myweirdvegetariankid was iffy on the barbecue sauce factor. I think it makes her think of meat, which is an immediate turn-off for her. But for me, it was just the thing. A perfect snack or appetizer for game day, or a good light dinner when you just can’t even.

Know what would really put these over the top? Bacon.

I make a terrible vegetarian.

 

Pi for Lunch: 3-Cheese and Salsa Quiche

It’s Spring break, which means the kids are out of school. It’s cold, which means the kids are in the house. And now they’ve got friends over.

Send help. And wine.

On the plus side–my work is pretty flexible, most days. Which means when I woke up this morning to big fluffy snowflakes, I decided it was a good day to work at home. (Hence, the friends coming over. I get much more done when we have in-house entertainment).

Work at home days come with some great perks. Like for instance, it is now 1pm and I’m wearing leggings and no bra. I am much more productive in my life when I don’t have to wear a bra.

Furthermore, working from home means I can make actual lunch, and not just graze on junk or skip lunch altogether. And I can feed the kids at a leisurely pace (as opposed to frantically packing peanut butter sandwiches at 7am while I’m also trying to get my coffee going so I can open my eyes).

Since today is “Pi” day; and since I am ALWAYS up for pie; and since I had a pie crust taking up valuable real estate in my freezer–I threw together a cheese and salsa quiche. #Myweirdvegetariankid AND my eats-all-the-meat kid were a big fan. You really can’t go wrong with salsa around here.

And you can never go wrong with pie for lunch. You’ll need:

5 eggs

1/4 c. milk

1/3 c. salsa*

2 or 3 tbsp of whipped cream cheese

1 cup shredded colby-jack cheese (or, sharp cheddar works too) 

1 frozen pie crust

Combine all ingredients in a mixing bowl; whisk or beat with a fork until the eggs are well beaten. Pour egg mixture into the pie crust and bake at 350 for about 40 minutes. Then cover edges of crust with foil to prevent burning, crank the heat up to 375, and cook for an additional 10 or 15 minutes, until the center is firm.

This literally takes only about 5 minutes to whip up. Re: the salsa, do not mess around with store brands. Go straight for the real deal with Herdez–available at any grocery store, providing that you live in actual civilization. If not–generic will do, but next time you venture out of the sticks, stock up on the real thing.

Happy pi day everyone! If you’re’ cooking something fabulous for dessert tonight, send something my way. Because I used my last pie crust on lunch.

Worth it.